Wonders of Wayne: The Top Five Waynes that I can think of

05/28/2007
5.Reggie Wayne

He's the Scottie Pippen to Harrison's Jordan. He's the Jake Reed to Marvin's Cris Carter. He's like Macho Man when he teamed up with Hulk Hogan, just before they broke up due to the confusing argument involving Miss Elizabeth. I think Peyton is Miss Elizabeth in that analogy. Anyway, Reggie Wayne may be the #2 receiver on the Colts, but he makes plays and puts up numbers like a #1. Plus, he went to college in Miami and yet seems to have avoided getting in trouble with the law and alienating himself from fans and teammates. That's impressive. But what really puts him over the top is that he has been an integral part of my fantasy football team for about three or four years now.


4.Wayne Chrebet

Back before the days of Terrell Owens and Randy Moss and the various hated receivers of today's NFL, there was Keyshawn Johnson. Keyshawn was one of those caricature-like athletes who was so into himself that people actually felt compelled to hate him. (I asked Jewel why this was and she said, "'cause he's pieces of them") Anyway, since Keyshawn had no negative words to say about himself, the #1 overall pick out of USC chose to direct his negativity toward his biggest threat: Wayne Chrebet. I didn't read his book, but if memory serves, Keyshawn used his debut literary work to call Wayne Chrebet the "team mascot." I'm pretty sure he had other lame remarks about him, but the mascot line got all the play in the media. Chrebet of course, was Johnson's teammate. He was also an undrafted receiver out of Hofstra who finished the '96 season (Keyshawn's first, Chrebet's second) with more catches and yards than Johnson. He was also a half-foot shorter than Keyshawn. Anyway, the disdain for Chrebet seemed like a classic case of insecurity. He was probably trying to convince himself of his superiority to Chrebet more than anything else. Whatever his motives, Keyshawn's remarks did accomplish one thing: They cemented Wayne Chrebet as a folk hero in the eyes of pretty much every American football fan. People hardly even needed a reason to embrace Chrebet. If Keyshawn hated him, that was reason enough to love him. Add to that the fact that he was a classic underdog, and suddenly everyone is a Wayne Chrebet fan. He was the anti-Keyshawn. I specifically remember watching the end of a Jets game and being thrilled that the Jets won the game on a td pass to Chrebet. I'm pretty sure it was the game against Keyshawn's Buccaneers, where Keyshawn ended with one catch for one yard. I don't know how the players actually felt about the play, but to me, it was more than just a game-winning touchdown. I felt like Chrebet landed an uppercut to Keyshawn's ego. It might sound stupid to you, but that's how I felt. If you don't remember the Wayne Chrebet era, you might find this all a bit foolish. But if you do remember, you know that a list of Waynes without Wayne Chrebet would hardly be a list at all.


3.Wang Chung

It's a homonym. Kind of. Wang Chung is the name of a band. But the legend doesn't end there. They also included their name in their biggest hit song, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight." The line, as you probably know, said, "Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight." The greatness of the line is that just about everyone knows it, and knows the band who sang it, but most people probably have no freaking clue what "Wang Chung" means. I didn't. I just looked it up. It's not that exciting. You can look it up on your own if you want. Or if you prefer, just let the mystery remain. Regardless, the band and the song are legendary. By the way, does anyone else remember when Beavis and Butthead watched the Wang Chung video? I think that's where I first learned of the band.


2.Wayne Gretzky

I don't know if there's too much more to be said about Gretzky. I'm certainly not a hockey expert so I can't tell you that my words carry a whole lot of weight. But he's got more assists than anyone else has points, people! And he's got more goals than anyone has too. I wonder if he wouldn't be atop all greatest athlete lists if hockey were as popular as the other sports in this country. Of course, the biggest accomplishment of Gretzky's was being a member of the "Pro Stars" along with Bo Jackson and Michael Jordan.




1. Wayne Campbell

The host of "Wayne's World." With him, as always, is Garth. Back when I was probably too young to watch SNL (but did it anyway), it was always a big deal when "Wayne's World" came on. Even better than the sketches, though, were the movies. The best part is that they're totally rewatchable too. In fact, I think they're probably even funnier now. Wayne had a certain comedic brilliance that might just be timeless. Plus, he hosted a tv show, organized a concert, and dated a hot rock star named Cassandra. It's that kind of greatness that makes him number one.




Dishonorable mention:
Wayne Newton - Kind of creeps me out. Maybe it's because he tried to steal away Clark Griswold's wife.
Bruce Wayne - Kept a butler.
John Wayne - I don't care much for cowboy movies.



-Jon looks forward to writing his next article in 2009.
newalex.jpgAlex - 3618 Posts
05/28/2007 @ 10:57:20 PM
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I remebmer watching Pro Stars, but I don't really remember if it was any good or what it was even about. Maybe Bo knows?
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - 8953 Posts
05/29/2007 @ 08:11:29 AM
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reign_of_fire.jpgMicah - 584 Posts
05/29/2007 @ 10:16:56 AM
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I have a ProStars DVD that I got as a birthday present a couple years ago...Its pretty kickass...I prefer when there are boulders rolled down a hill at them by bad guys and Gretsky slap shoots them all right back at them.

Also, as I have been saying for years, Wayne Chrebet.....has never dropped a pass...NEVER. Show me a Wayne Chrebet dropped pass and I will show you a doctored video.
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vignette.bmpCarlos44ec - 2078 Posts
05/29/2007 @ 12:19:52 PM
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Bo doesn't know anymore.

Nice article, but The Duke must have his day.
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jon.jpgJon - 2847 Posts
05/29/2007 @ 01:10:10 PM
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The video shows some of the greatness of the cartoon, however, it's not the original theme song. Which is actually why I didn't include it in the actual article.

If you wanna hear the good version of the theme song, you can listen to or download it here. Just make sure you click on the correct link once you're there.
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Jon edited this at 05/29/2007 1:10:27 pm
jeremy.jpgJeremy - 8953 Posts
05/29/2007 @ 01:17:30 PM
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Doesn't work for me.

Edit: I guess Winamp just didn't think much of it.
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Jeremy messed with this at 05/29/2007 1:25:30 pm
reign_of_fire.jpgMicah - We can do this easy, or we can do it real easy
06/11/2007 @ 01:14:54 PM
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This is my list. I had to include 6 but we only share 2 of the same (including #1)

5.5 Wayne Brady
5. Wayne Chrebet
4. John Wayne
3. Wayne Gretzky
2. Wayne Campbell
1. Wayne Arnold (Wonder Years)
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jon.jpgJon - 1 bajillion posts
06/12/2007 @ 04:13:42 PM
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I despise Wayne Arnold!

OK, despise is too strong. I love the wonder years, but wayne always angered me. Which is what he was there to do most of the time, so it was needed, but still he bothers me to this day.
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - Pie Racist
06/12/2007 @ 04:36:22 PM
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I despise Keith Hernandez, but then again this is neither the time, nor the place.
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