Opening Day...Again

04/12/2004
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Once again the Page 3 staffers found themselves at Opening Day at the HHH Metrodome. This time however, rather than the first game at the dome being in August the first game of the Twins season was at home.

The Twins also got to try out the new Field Turf in the Metrodome for the first time. It looks like it might take some time to get used to. Either both Rivas and Guzman accidentally wore catchers' mitts for the game or the ball is really hard to pick up out of the puedo-grass. Likewise, Torii slipped on fly he should have had. The way the ball and ground interact now compared to what it used to be like are polar opposites. A hard grounder on the old painted concrete surface would hit the ground and actually triple in speed with each bounce, the new surface really absorbs the ball cutting its velocity almost in half in a blast of rubber pellets.

The Twins came out blazing with a feroicous display of hitting...in the 8th inning...after being basically hittless all day in a dreadfully boring game that left them trailing 4-0. Luckily their 4 run burst in the 8th and Shannon Stewart's 3 run walk off homer in the 11th was enough to keep the Twins playoff hopes alive.

Anyway here are some of the highlights/random thoughts of the night, that I'm sure only we will find funny.

10:57pm - Jon, "Screw Shannon Stewart"
10:59pm - Shannon Stewart (Shasta) hits 3-run Game Winning Home Run.

Matt: Luis Rivas may be Rivawsome, but Michael Cuddyer is Cuddyerful.

Jeremy: Late in the game Sarah spilled a glass of water that was eventually soaked up by all the free stuff we were given at the door and the sleeve of my Jacket. Good Times.

Sarah: So my man [Mientkiewicz] came out of dugout....with a goatee! Seeing him on the jumbotron was ALMOST an eyesore. I just don't get the goatee. They're not attractive. I'm sorry. Plus it looked crooked every time they showed the picture of him when he went up to bat. It's gotta go.

Jeremy: You know those 2 fans in the outfield in "Major League"? I think those guys were behind us. They let every Twin that made even the slightest mistake have it for a few minutes. They were thoroughly convinced that Brad Radke (who, granted, wasn't playing his A game) was the only pitcher in baseball history to give up a hit to the Indians. They were particularly hard on Joe Mauer who had some big shoes to fill given that (according to them) AJ was last years MVP and hit a whopping .867.

Sarah: (Warning: Seinfeld impersonation coming up) What's the deal with 5 year old kids owning their own cell phones? (ok, that's all I've got) But really now, I saw these kids on their cell phones like every time I saw them. I don't own a cell phone. They're not necessary and why are these kids so important that people need to be in contact with them at all time? It's not like they're alone ever, driving along the highway, and they get a flat tire. Bizarre times we're living in.

Sarah: So everyone knows that we came up with a nickname for Lew Ford. I think Matt may have had more input than the rest of us, but anywho, we call him the Sponge. On opening day we found out the Sponge had been demoted to AAA. (This has of course changed, what with Hunter being put on the disabled list)
The Minnesota Twins had deemed themselves not spongeworthy!

Sarah: So yea, the guys behind us were very annoying. They were like 16 year olds stuck in 45 year olds bodies. One guy actually said (and I quote) "So, have you knocked up your girlfriend yet?" Un-freakin-believable!

Jon: Now that Jeremy and Sarah are engaged, I somehow feel free to hit on Sarah even more openly than before. It makes no sense.

Jeremy: We decided we were going to nickname Twins newcomer Aaron Fultz "San Andreas"

Matt: Apparently, instead of selling cotton candy, the Metrodome vendors are now offering 6-packs of multi-colored kitchen sponges.

Sarah: So some of the same kids who had their own cellphones were in charge of saving about 2 rows of seats, they used their cell phones to keep track of the status on the people whom they were saving the seats for. They kept denying people access to the seats, until about 20 minutes before the game when they inexplicably gave up all those seats to go and save the seats behind us. Like I said before, it's a different world out there today. Totally different. I know I couldn't have been in the dome alone trying to save seats for 50 people. Wow.
scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
04/15/2004 @ 02:32:38 PM
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Baseball (like football) were meant to be played outdoors, or at least on grass (or something close to grass).
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - 9475 Posts
04/15/2004 @ 03:02:27 PM
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It were?
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2887.gificbizzle - 3619 Posts
04/15/2004 @ 05:02:29 PM
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i like grass
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scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
04/16/2004 @ 01:14:12 AM
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Oh, it were indeed
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scott.jpgScott - On your mark...get set...Terrible!
04/16/2004 @ 01:18:39 AM
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You see, the thing is, I wrote baseball, and then put football in parentheses, so I was thinking that it was plural. However, a parenthetical phrase does not flow with the rest of the sentence, rendering the subject as singular, making "was" the correct form of the verb, "to be", but I mistook the parethetical phrase as part of the sentence, therefore, I put the plural "were" instead, making me appear foolish. I hope we can put this behind us and go on disagreeing on sports stuff;)
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - Cube Phenomenoligist
04/16/2004 @ 09:39:38 AM
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lol, deal
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question_mark.gifAndrew (Guest)
04/18/2004 @ 09:49:23 AM
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I think this article is lacking one fundamental piece of info that any article about a Twins game needs. Who did everyone pick to click?
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - The pig says "My wife is a slut?"
04/18/2004 @ 02:56:30 PM
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We didn't.

No Dustin Mohr = No pick to click.
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sarah.jpgSarah - How do you use these things?
05/29/2009 @ 08:57:43 PM
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It's pretty neat that we were at Mauer's first game, didn't he hit a double for his first at bat? The crowd went ca-razy.
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matt.jpgMatt - 3875 Posts
05/29/2009 @ 10:47:24 PM
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Sarah Wrote - Today @ 08:57:43 PM
It's pretty neat that we were at Mauer's first game, didn't he hit a double for his first at bat? The crowd went ca-razy.


April 5, 2004 vs. Cleveland

Mauer went: Walk, Strikeout, Walk, Single, Single.

It's called the internet. Check it out sometime. emoticon
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Matt screwed with this 2 times, last at 05/29/2009 10:50:00 pm
sarah.jpgSarah - How do you use these things?
05/30/2009 @ 11:13:16 AM
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I think I remember it more accurately than this internet you speak of.
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scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
05/30/2009 @ 04:47:22 PM
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Sarah Wrote - Yesterday @ 09:57:43 PM
It's pretty neat that we were at Mauer's first game, didn't he hit a double for his first at bat? The crowd went ca-razy.
Sarah Wrote - Today @ 12:13:16 PM
I think I remember it more accurately than this internet you speak of.


And I get called a homer? I'm pretty sure that Ryan Braun hit a grand slam and stole 3 bases in his first game.

Seriously though, prince fielder did homer in one of first ever games and it happened to be a game winner against the twins.
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Scott screwed with this 2 times, last at 05/30/2009 4:48:53 pm
scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
06/01/2009 @ 02:47:22 PM
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It was his 8th game. And it was agains the Twins. I had a pretty good memory though, if I do say so myself.
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hoochpage.JPGSarah - So's your face
04/06/2011 @ 07:31:12 PM
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Scott Wrote - 04/15/2004 @ 02:32:38 PM
Baseball (like football) were meant to be played outdoors, or at least on grass (or something close to grass).


Outdoor baseball is overrated..... emoticon
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scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
04/14/2011 @ 07:26:36 AM
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But baseball on grass is priceless.
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sarah.jpgSarah - 4605 Posts
09/30/2018 @ 05:31:40 PM
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Joe if this is it, what a career. But I hope it isn't...
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