Diary of an All Star...Game

07/09/2002
Barry Bonds picks up Torii Hunter after Torii robbed him of a first inning homerun.
Even bobblehead Giuliani has a FDNY hat on.
I still haven't seen him throw a good game.
Money can't buy you love. Souls, however are for sale on eBay, maybe Selig should look into it.


7:00 Game time woooooooooooo

7:01 Oh I guess there's pregame festivities, I assumed they did these before seven and game time was now, oh well, they cant last too long.

7:30 I guess there's a lot of pregame festivities

8-9 I zoned out due to excessive pregame festivities, but you should have seen Torii Hunter rob Bonds.His salary just went up 3 million bucks. Bonds took one out his next at bat. It's 4-0 NL.

9:00 The announcer just said, "The triple X cam is flying above the stadium." (In reference to the blimp) Fill in your own joke here. The XXX Logo must have been made by the same guy who did the XFL logo.

9:03 AL Finally gets one on the board. 4-1 NL

9:08 Disturbing Fox NFL commercial reminds me the season is nearing. I'm officially giddy.

9:10 I hate the Yankees

9:12 Fox plays an inaudible "Sounds of the Game" of when Jason Giambi was on first. Nice work boys.

9:17 Alfonso Soriano hits a solo homer 4-2 NL

9:20 What's this Tampa Bay Devil Rays thing everyone keeps referencing?

9:23 Has Mayor Giuliani taken the NY PD/FD hat off since 9/11? Does he sleep and shower in it? Is it surgically attached to his head? I think the public deserves to know these things.

9:25 New AL center fielder Johnny "30th man" Damon blows a relatively difficult but playable fly to left center. Phillie Jimmy Rollins scores. 5-2 NL. Torii would have caught that.

9:30 After commenting on the likeness of the XXX and XFL logos the announcer made a He Hate Me reference. I'm officially in a good mood.

9:38 Twin AJ Pierzynski is up.

9:39 AJ is out.

9:42 Bathroom run.

9:48 Every Day Eddie comes into the game. His shoes look like he swiped them from a bowling ally.

9:49 Announcer steals my bowling shoes line. It seems I'm writing material for him.

9:52 Ex Twin Jack Morris apparently aged into the manager from "Major League." "Even you Dorn." Bob Euker was even up in the booth earlier. What are the odds?

9:59 Fox has actually shown around 37 seconds of baseball throughout the game so far.

10:00 AL Scores, 5-3 NL

10:06 Looks like Byung Hyun Kim, is coming into the game. I never get to see this guy if its not on highlights somewhere, and no one shows highlights of him unless he does poorly. Well, he made it here, so he must be pretty good. Faces Everyone.

10:07 Kim gives up an RBI to the first batter. 5-4 NL

10:08 Kim gives up a hit to the second batter he faced.

10:10 Kim gives up a two run double to the next batter. 6-5 AL. Masks will be available at MLB.com tomorrow morning.

10:18 It is now officially the AL vs. the Diamondbacks

10:20 Two runs come in for the NL, they reclaim the lead 7-6.

10:27 Ashton Kutcher (That 70's show, Kelso) Proved in an MLB promotion that he doesn't just play a moron on tv, he is a moron.

10:31 I hate Bud Selig. Contract the Yankees.

10:33 It's official I've lost all interest in the game.

10:34 Tie Game

10:35 Someone bring me some food....please?

10:48 Nomaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

11:01 AJ is up again and Fox plays yet another inaudible "Sounds of the Game".

11:25 Middle of the 11th Selig and his goons are having a 7 hour pow wow. Freddy Garcia is crouched on the mound ready to pitch. No one seems to know why the pow wow took so long.

11:29 It's announced that the game will end in a tie if the NL doesn't score. Bud Selig gets a rousing boo from his home crowd. Hilarious.

11:33 The crowd it chanting "Let them play." Selig looks pained, wishing he could contract the crowd

11:34 The game ends in a tie, everyone boos except for Freddy Garcia and Vicente Padilla.
11:37 I was just informed I can't legally put this on the internet without expressed written consent from Bud Selig.  Ironic, eh.

11:40 Bud Selig sits for two minutes not aware he's on camera then takes four minutes to say five words at a post game press conference explaining why he pulled the plug.
- Jeremy Lindgren is a hack artist
scott.jpgScott - 6225 Posts
05/10/2007 @ 02:35:17 PM
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You spelled Uecker wrong. Just thought I'd point that out.
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jeremy.jpgJeremy - Pie Racist
05/10/2007 @ 03:01:04 PM
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I don't think you really want to open the "misspelling" can of worms. emoticon
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