I wonder how long it will be before Bill Gates owns Ticketmaster, and for that matter the railroads, Boardwalk, and Park Place.
Speaking of Monopoly don't you hate that person who sells Park Place to the person who owns Boardwalk for like $500 dollars and gets that Andy Dufresne on the roof top of the tar factory in "The Shawshank Redemption" grin because they "profited" for about 5 minutes until every one including themselves lands on Boardwalk with a hotel. Man I hate that guy.
Customers often complain when a business runs out of a product. They invariably say something about how the company should have known how popular it was going to be. If a company could predict what products would be popular we wouldn't have the XFL and Beefamato.
Mmmm, beef broth and tomato juice, together at last, this isn't a cooking
product, it's a beverage.
I'm fairly sure John Madden's eyebrow's double in size exponentially every few minutes, like a colony of bacteria.
With the boom in electronics does anyone really need a wall clock anymore? I have 6 devices in my room that notify me of the time. Only one of which is a clock.
What is with words like gnat, debt, and knife? Who the hell do they think they are?
Nothing ruins a meal quite like getting one of those gray/black Chicken McNuggets
I love when on the game show "Press Your Luck" a person has 10 times the amount of money the person in second place has, including a car and trip, they have the game basicly locked up, yet for some inexplicable reason they choose to spin again and get a whammy. Hilarious. I'm a bastard like that.
American Girl this is Jeremy how may I help you?
I don't know what is lamer, the fact that sweethearts day exists, or the fact that some women actually want their guys to do something for this completely contrived holiday.
Call me lazy if you want but my favorite thing to do is nothing.
-Jeremy Lindgren is not all that funny